The neural functionality of the human sensory – motor connectivity process, mandates that humans will feel before they think (feeling is a sensory action and thinking is a motor action). Many people have opined that evolutionary survival has integrated associations with negative stimulus as a primary process and determination of a positive stimulus as a secondary process post analysis of the potential threat to survival potential. A wealth of written instruments exists to discuss both of these considerations. Today, I am going to tell you about the ones you can control with conscious thoughts and how to override the perpetual negative loop. Cognitive distortions are phenomena that you can control and re-frame with practice and intention.
The cognitive distortion is a mental capacity from which the sensory systems and the motor systems make adjudications that leave a person in a state of negativity with a constant wonder as to why things are so grim – let’s call it the Eeyore syndrome! A list of cognitive distortions:
Leaps to conclusions – A person decides what an outcome will be by inference and association with the personal opinion before the facts are actually known or presented in proper context
Magnifying a catastrophe – The person that always thinks the sky is going to fall “if _____ happens it will be a disaster!!!!!!” or “OMG what if __________ ruins everything”…… You get the point and I am sure that you have met a person or two like this as you giggle along here.
A Polarized perspective – The individual that has a one way or no way mentality, it is either good or it is bad there is no other possibility or spectrum to consider.
Defensive, doubtful or negative filters – Always looking for the worst in a situation, person, or environment. “Its too hot”, “its too cold” “That person does not like me”, She is so ugly”, I hate that idiot”, “why are we in this shit hole”…….. The list for these people is endless if we allow it to continue it will surely darken the hallways!!!!
Personalized contextual purposing – The individual that makes everything and anything about them, and only them, never caring about anyone else or any other perspectives.
Expectations and the lies of fairness – Face it life is not fair and if you expect it to be then you will be let down more times than not – the old adage “it is what it is “ rings true here ( I hate that phrase …..oops my lens needs adjustment!). Expecting others to act the way you think they should act, is pointless and will only cause you grief or envy, or sadness or a host of potential negative loop thought or feelings. Let that shit go – people will be who they are, and life is not always fair – do your best when you can and that is the only thing you can control.
Victimization and the blame game – I could write a book here on why this is a life destroying position and activity. However, suffice it to say that you will never feel positive about blaming others or being a victim by your own accepted labeling.
Coulda, shoulda, woulda – Reflective thinking is good but use Socratic thinking not bravado, bullshit, or rationalization – it will serve you much better in a discovery for positivity-based query. Appreciative Inquiry (a construct you should study more about).
Change – Why do people always think change is a good thing? Then when change is the most desired thought a person has the idea that their life or situation sucks is highlighted and integrated in daily activity. Change can be good, but change must have a stated purpose other than changing just for change sake. If you decide that you want/need to make changes, identify a purpose and plan of action to instill the changes first! BTW – expecting others to change is a root fallacy, you do not get to adjust other people’s thinking and behaviors and the sooner you accept that the better off you will be – shake these cognitive distortions and exit the negative loop of falsehoods that change is a cure-all.
The requirement to be right all the time – Individuals that think they are always right and will go to whatever lengths it takes to prove that they are, always seem to be seeking a negative position to exploit – guess what, if you are always looking for negative positions you will find them!
Affective domain reasoning (emotional) – A person that always leads with their heart and is only going to make assessments or adjudications by what they “feel” at that time and place is a gateway to broken relationships, missed opportunities, and most of all valuable differential discourse that improves and collaborates if given the chance to exchange ideas and thoughts with rational discussions and actual evidence for reinforcement.
I hope that identification of these cognitive distortions is now something for you to examine in yourself and those that you surround yourself with. Eliminate as many of these behaviors as possible and you will soon begin to feel a little lighter and a bit more energized to enjoy your days and nights accordingly. Have fun, smile more, and stop overthinking and generalizing situations. Explore more, and communicate with good intentions, open minds and hearts, and specific boundaries that are important to you.
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